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BUMPER STICKERS

Joke Number: 231
AT LEAST IN VIETNAM, BUSH HAD AN EXIT STRATEGY BLIND FAITH IN BAD LEADERSHIP IS NOT PATRIOTISM IF YOU'RE NOT OUTRAGED, YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION IF YOU SUPPORTED BUSH, A YELLOW RIBBON WON'T MAKE UP FOR IT POVERTY, HEALTHCARE & HOMELESSNESS ARE MORAL ISSUES OF COURSE IT HURTS. YOU'RE GETTING SCREWED BY AN ELEPHANT BUSH LIED, AND YOU KNOW IT RELIGIOUS FUNDAMENTALISM: A THREAT ABROAD, A THREAT AT HOME GOD BLESS EVERYONE (No Exceptions) BUSH SPENT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY ON HIS WAR PRO AMERICA, ANTI BUSH FEEL SAFER NOW? I'D RATHER HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO SCREWED HIS INTERN THAN ONE WHO SCREWED HIS COUNTRY JESUS WAS A SOCIAL ACTIVIST -- THAT IS A LIBERAL MY VALUES? FREE SPEECH. EQUALITY. LIBERTY. EDUCATION. TOLERANCE IS IT 2008 YET? DISSENT IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF PATRIOTISM -- Thomas Jefferson ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE: THINK FOR YOURSELF VISUALIZE IMPEACHMENT HEY BUSH! WHERE'S BIN LADEN? CORPORATE MEDIA = MASS MIND CONTROL STOP MAD COWBOY DISEASE GEORGE W. BUSH: MAKING TERRORISTS FASTER THAN HE CAN KILL THEM KEEP YOUR THEOCRACY OFF MY DEMOCRACY CORPORATE MEDIA: WEAPONS OF MASS DECEPTION DON'T CONFUSE DYING FOR OIL WITH FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM STEM CELL RESEARCH IS PRO LIFE HATE, GREED, IGNORANCE: WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION HONOR OUR TROOPS -- DEMAND THE TRUTH REBUILD IRAQ? WHY NOT SPEND 87 BILLION ON AMERICA? FACT: BUSH OIL 1999 - $19 BARREL 2006 - $70 BARREL
Submitted by: Norma
Date: 2006-08-23

Joke Number: 191
BUMPER STICKERS "IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Horn Broken... Watch For Finger. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Earth Is Full - Go Home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Illiterate? Write For Help. ~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Honk If Anything Falls Off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost, But is Miles From The Next Exit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fight Crime: Shoot Back! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (The following bumper sticker was Seen Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Also Are Timed For 70 mph ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ax Me About Ebonics. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Boldly Going Nowhere. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Caution - Driver Legally Blonde. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heart Attacks: God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AND Lastly: "POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"
Submitted by: Chevy
Date: 2005-07-03

Joke Number: 94
Bumper Stickers we'd like to See: He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. Seen it all, done it all, got the T-shirt, can't remember most of it. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be misquoted, then used against you. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
Submitted by:
Date: 2004-02-04

Joke Number: 46
BUMPER STICKERS: SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE. I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY? DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
Submitted by:
Date: 2004-01-31

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